Weddings @ Work: Marriage Reality Check(list)

In a few months, I will be busy replacing my surname in almost every public document I have.  Not that my aunts handed me a result of a DNA test to tell me that I’m an adopted daughter.  If this is your conclusion, then you might be watching too much soap opera.  =)

It’s official.  I whole-heartedly agree to enter into a lifetime contract. 

The thought is serious.  Marriage is sacred.  In a more popular sub-culture tone, marriage is still ‘highly fashionable’ in this time and age. 

I’m excited and scared at the same time.  I used to have doubts whether I would be capable of being ‘the better half’.  It’s heavy, the whole concept of marriage, but it’s sanctifying. Every realistic person would know that it’s not just about love (love is important, but it’s not ‘everything’ to make a marriage work). 

Coffee on a quiet Sunday evening, this is what downtime means for me and BFD.  We were reading several magazines when we came across an article – Marriage Reality Check(list), published by Weddings at Work.  We answered every question in the article (eyes roll + wicked grin + don’t-give-me-that-silly-look + look-me-in-the-eye-killer-look) – it was fun, highly engaging, and full of insights. 

Here’s a copy of the article, as published in the Weddings at Work website.  This is meant to help couples sort out a  lot of things, especially those who are seriously contemplating to get hitched.  =)

Reference:  http://www.weddingsatwork.com/index.php/marriage-reality-checklist/ 

Marriage Reality Check(list)

So you’ve chosen the person to live with for the rest of your life. But do you know his or her take on certain issues concerning your marriage and future family? Below is a checklist of things you ought to discuss and disclose before proceeding with your wedding plans.

PERSONAL

Do I do anything that bugs you? If I can’t change, could you live with that for the rest of our lives?

CHILDREN

How many children do you want? Who’s going to be the primary caregiver? How would you feel if we won’t be blessed with any?

FINANCES

Who will handle the household budget? Will we be allowed to have personal savings and spending from each other’s salary? Or do we remit our full salary in the same pool? Do you have any financial obligations to your family? Do you have debts?

DWELLING

Where will we live when we get married? Is living with our families an option? If so, when do we expect to move out?

HEALTH

Do we have any health issues each should know of? Are there any health concerns that we could potentially pass to our children or we should prepare for financially?

FAITH (different religions/beliefs)

Do you expect me to convert to your religion? Or would you respect it if I choose to still practice what I believe in? Which religion should our children be brought up to?

PRIVACY

Are we allowed to answer calls in each other’s cellphones? Are we free to read each other’s text messages, emails, & mails?

SEX

Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and problems?

FUTURE IN-LAWS

Does my family do anything that annoys you? Do you feel they will interfere with our marriage? Will it be alright with you if I keep supporting my family (physically/financially) even if already we’re married?

CAREER

Do you expect me to be a full-time housewife? Would you be bothered if my job pays better than yours?

CHORES

What household chores do you expect me to do?

LIFESTYLE

What do you wish/expect me to changes in my present lifestyle?

FRIENDS

Who among my friends do you feel is a bad influence? Are we still allowed to go out with them for late night gimmicks when we’re married?

MIGRATION

Do you see raising our family here in the Philippines or is migrating to a foreign land in the plans? Would you consider a job abroad and leave your family behind for a better life?

Browse for more insights! =)
http://www.weddingsatwork.com

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Now I’m Writing About Love…

In night’s deep silence

I uttered a prayer of pure intentions

He spoke to me again of love

In a voice so clear to my conscience

Demise was an imagination

Love is not a promise lost.

 

I woke up the next morning

I humbly thanked Him

For bringing me to the present

It was the beginning of a new journey 

Guided by both heart and mind

I picked up the pace.

 

Spirits so calm

Minds of strong resolve

Hearts full of joy

Giving and accepting

True love and friendship

Forever to cherish and keep.

 

Not just about a bunch of brain chemicals… =)

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Who says I can’t write about love?  Now, at least, I’m trying…and I never thought that I could write or talk about love in my 30s, the way I did when I was 16.  =)

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“The greater the level of calmness of our mind, the greater our peace of mind, the greater our ability to enjoy a happy and joyful life.”  – Dalai Lama