Part IV – Alam Na (final installment)

Sana naman ay ganap nyo nararamdaman ang lagay ko ngayon sa Mundo ng mga Keso.  Ang Parts I – IV ay aking nailathala dahil na rin sa mga pamilya at mga tunay na kaibigan na malayo sa akin.  Nais ko ibahagi at ganon din ang excitement nila na magkwento ako na para bang magkakaharap lamang kami.

Hindi magtatapos sa Part IV ang kwento namin ni BFD, pero sa blog, hanggang Part IV na lang dahil baka sumunod pa ito sa mga yapak ng mga Pinoy movies na Shake, Rattle, & Roll (pero laging pang MM Filmfest?), Tanging Ina (pang-ilang ‘last na ‘to?), at Mano Po (sa mga blood chem naubos ang mga huling patak ko ng Chinese blood, kung ako man ay nagkaroon ng marami nito).  Same formula ang plot, na pinaulit-ulit dahil sa commercial success ng mga nasabing pelikula.

Ilan sa mga Pinoy movies na madaming installment.
Photos grabbed from Wikipedia.

Paulit-ulit?  Medyo taliwas ito sa mga nangyayari sa tunay  na buhay ko sa ngayon.  I challenged a team of 77 people early this year – that if they are desperate for change, they must be prepared to do things which they haven’t done before.  Ito ngayon ang syang challenge ko sa sarili ko.  Practice what you preach nga naman.

Possible pala na ang Manila-Singapore-Manila, ay maging parang Manila-Pampanga-Manila – as a way of embracing the altruism, ‘follow your heart’, but no banging of head against the wall this time around?  Nasa Terminal 1 ako isang umaga, gagawin ko yon kasi alam ko na doon ako magiging mas masaya.  Parang sa palabas na Shaider na tumatawag ng Time Space Warp ang babaylan na si Ida, nasabi ko sa harap ng laptop, hatinggabi bago ang aking flight, ‘Eroplano, ngayon din!’.  Kaya mainit-init pa ang plane ticket at hotel voucher ko noong umagang iyon – mas mainit pa sa ‘rush photocopy’ sa mga tindahan sa U-belt…mas mainit pa sa extra hot na double espresso…mas mainit pa sa ulo ko nang gawin nilang isang malaking parking lot ang Coastal Road dahil sa hindi pag-usad ng traffic.

Matapos ang halos sunud-sunod ko na travel mag-isa, pati ang pagtakbo ng full marathon sa SG nang mag-isa, I made a decision – I will open up myself to love…sana for the last time, pero hindi basta-basta love…ung love at relationship na talagang pinag-isipan…may process, hindi basta naramdaman na lang…a love story wherein two people made a whole-hearted commitment to make it work inspite of their differences…yung dalawang taong same wavelength, may shared values, parehong self-actualized….partners, yung tipong they bring out the best in each other…symbiotic, hindi parasitic…Ayoko na ng same ‘ol, boring, pathetic sh–, er, story! =)

Isang pagbalik-tanaw:  In one of my visits to the Pink Sisters Chapel in Tagaytay (2007),  I was having a hard time coping with some major changes, and in grief, I wrote a letter to the Lord through the Pink Sisters Congregation.  The content came from another letter which I wrote back in college (1998).  I was very specific when I wrote my intentions.  To sum it up,  He was supposed to write me a beautiful love story.  Minsan nga talaga mas alam natin ang gusto natin when we were younger.  Over the years, we tend to forget or masyado na tayong nagiging jaded kaya akala natin hindi na pwedeng magka-totoo.

The Pink Sisters’ Chapel – Tagaytay City
Photo by: BFD

I almost forgot about those letters, until last month when I went back to the Pink Sisters Chapel – first time to visit with BFD.  Before that, we were tossing several questions particularly about the ‘timing’.  BFD and I attended the same university, and he was only a year my senior.  We used to chat about running for over a year, but none of it seem to have made sense.  We ran the same race routes/categories, but we did not care as if there was an imaginary banner, ‘just-another-face-in-the-crowd.’  Who would have thought?  Maybe, we were born with a ‘homing’ device; that one, which is automatically triggered when the right time comes, and nobody knows about the exact time. Ang galing, parang magic, di ba?  Ni hindi ko nga magamit dati ang salitang ‘magic’ dahil pakiwari ko para lamang ito sa mga bata na naniniwala sa fairy tales; kulog, kidlat, baka kainin ako ng lupa. Uh-oh.  =)

Dahil pare-parehas din naman tayong busy, tapusin na natin ang Part IV.  Here’s to share the last part of those ‘special letters’, which I’ve mentioned in this blog –

              “…and wherever we are, he will always make me feel that – I’m home.” 

Altar – Angels’ Hills – Tagaytay
Photo by: BFD

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One comment on “Part IV – Alam Na (final installment)

  1. […] I gladly accepted, to the point that I was living that life already), but the Lord sent me another blessing that changed most of my thoughts about how I intend to live my life.  About two weeks after that […]

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